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So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you,
Saying I'm sorry for that night.

entries about chat links

wishful thinking

I disabled the chat navigation.
Thursday, October 21, 2010 // 4:06 AM

i miss mama. Like a hell lot. It's just one of those feelings when exams are near. I just wished I had someone to tell me that everything's going to be okay and even if your results are not as excellent as before, they'll still love me. I know other people like opah and such as still do even if that happens but they never told me, and I want someone to tell me that, for once. Better, a mum but I'm never going to have one.

ugh. I hate it when I turn emooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

if she was still here, I bet she'd know what to do with my life and straighten it up. starting from the family itself, then to the school that i still love-hate and such as.

I know Allah took her first because He loved her but I still wish deeply that she was still here. So that I won't tell that lonely.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010 // 6:53 AM

Honestly, I'm not here to care about you 24/7.
I can't just hang around you 24/7.
I can't tell you if I want to go somewhere else 24/7.
BUT, I do care about you,
I do want to hang around you,
I do want to tell you if I go somewhere else.
You're the one who's always too sensitive
and later on, if I want to go to you,
you'll start to ignore me.

But I'm just going to put those tired feelings away because I still care and I will always do :)

Oh How I Miss Them.
// 6:29 AM

I almost cried watching all these vids on one night.

yes, I'm still a strong and proud Hottest and that's never gonna change ;P

I'm still a faithful Cassiopeia. I'll never lose faith in DBSK and I remembered when I watched this video a long time ago, I cried. They are the best :)

Watch their comments on their performance above ;')


now, I dnt know what I am but I still love the way they use to be on stage and not on MVs. Honestly. But look how they were when it was back then. I miss them back then, a lot. I wish they just stick to what they were and how to be because those personality fits them well, more than being HOT or SEXY or MATURED.
Super Junior = Cuteness, Childishness, Immature yet still adorable and just have fun, no none-sarcastic/playful serious face :)
though I do notice their gayness but back then it was cute because they were still cute and just playful, now they're just plain matured and sexy and hot.
I dislike hot, sexy, matured and gay guys all together.

One In The Same;
Saturday, July 10, 2010 // 5:16 AM

I started to think about this when I listened to the song:
press the play button.

This is my best friend from my primary school. NURUL FAQIHAH BT SAMLI, the craziest coolest person I've known since primary school :P
It all started at preschool, I don't really remember how but we just clicked. We used to stay at the preschool to wait for her mum & my uncle to finish school time, they are teachers. We would play puppets, rabbit and a kitten, if I'm not mistaken. I remember we pretended to cry once to.. nevermind xD
When we're in standard one, we had another best friend, Farhana. We'd pretend we're Do Re Mi and we even made a song together. It was epic. I had lots of fun with them but then as time flies, Farhana had to move, I can't remember when but she did.
That then leaves me with Faqihah again but that didn't break us down. We were still close. We would crush on the same guy or crush at two guys who were best friends. It was awesome.
THEN, we were in standard six, when it all started to change. Not in the early year, the end. I started to get close to Hanisah and she started to get close to Filzah and Uswatul. It was fine at first, I couldn't help to feel a bit left out but if that's what make her happy, then, I'd rather her be with them. Then she gang-ed up with Afiqah & Aina while I was being close to Ain. We're not that close but we're do talk and laugh and hang out, I guess.

things start to really change when we're in form 1.

we're in different classes. She's in 1KAA while I'm in ICA. She starts hanging out with her classmates and so did I with mine. We still laugh and act like everything's okay when we meet during Kokurikulum but I'm not sure, are we ?

Are we? What are we? Still best friends? Or we just turn in friends? I'd really like to know. I miss hanging out with her and laughing about the same things with her. I miss teasing her and I know she's the only person who would never be offended because I never meant it. She understands me, I miss her.

Yes, I miss you, Faqihah ;'(

it's too personal.
Friday, June 25, 2010 // 8:26 PM

I freaking love those flats !

I like the saying also, Never be dependent to anyone in this world.
Cos even your shadow leaves you
When you're in the dark.

// 4:56 AM

Everything's changing.
Everyone is. Everyone in my freaking life is.

I'm not sure to the better or to the worse. It looks like to the better, but then I wondered, then why the crap do I feel horrible and worse than ever ?

I've never actually felt this pissed off, well I have- I think. But I'm don't quite remember how it felt like.
but don't worry, the song has nothing to do with what I'm feeling right now. I just felt like listening to songs like this and I thought, why not, since I'm updating my post right ?
I'm a freako.

School started like a couple days ago, and guess what, I never felt better than ever. (I do hope you noticed my sarcasm) I'm different now I think and I bet my classmates noticed it too, (I know you guys are reading this but I'm just saying, right?) I've been a lot quieter than before. I guess I can't find anything interesting to be excited about during the whole day. The day keeps dragging and dragging and nothing is basically changing, wait, I meant, everything is changing, everyone... and me.

I've changed ?
I don't think I have.
Everything around me is changing, not me.
or am I changing and blaming everything around me ?
I don't see any difference about me.
I couldn't accept the fact that I'm changing so I'm saying everything else is changing, is it ?
I think, I think too much.
I think, I think I know I changed, because I couldn't stand my empty life.
I have an empty life ? that's like lifeless right ?
But I love my life, my family, my friends.
Do I really ?
Of course right.
Then, what's empty ?
My life, I have nothing to be excited about.
But I have my family and friends around me. They are everything I want, right ?
I think, I think too much.
I think, I think I do love my family and friends but there's something missing.
What is ?
Something to be happy about.
My family and friends make me happy right ?
Of course, they're just and all that I want.
So what's the conclusion ?

= I think too much and is having a massive headache, that's what I get for being such a good person, I don't stand up for myself, because I'm weak. Am I ? Right Now, I just don't know, who I really am, how it's gonna be, is there something that I can't see ? Maybe I will never be who I was before, cause maybe I don't even know her anymore.


I actually planned to tell you about the good things that happened today, like watching Life Unexpected, it's the movie I chose to watch on my Weekend Movie Marathon this week but now I just don't know. Is life really unexpected ? I meant, mine's not. It's still the same.
I'll just have to enjoy the movie and feel jealous of that fifteen years old girl named Lux because she has awesome people around her almost all the time, basically all the time.
No offence, people around me are cool too, it's just, nevermind.

almost there;
Friday, June 18, 2010 // 8:23 PM

She Was Mine (Cover) - Jesse Barrera and AJ Rafael

This post is sorta about the two weeks of my holiday.

I think the right title for my holiday this time is 'family'.

starting from family day. it was awesome that we could spend time together, the games were sorta fun. I got to know the maasom akidah clan a lot better & closer and it was awesome.

I used to like just hang out with typical family members and uncles and aunties, just the padang asam-ers. but this holiday, had brought me closer to other families for me.
for example, the time when we went and watch the movies with the Damansara's & the time when we went for picnic with the lapangan terbang's & damansara's. it was awesome and it was cool. like when we went to the picnic, we learnt something new about them & they learnt something new about us, it was just like hanging out but it was like bringing us all closer.

truthfully, before, i dont even really know about the other families but now I know and hopefully can remember everyone that i got closer to during this holiday.
to be honest, this holiday i started to get to know the damansara's better. I don't really know them much before but now we're okay, we do talk now, we do hang out now.
if you guys are reading, i used to only know the uncles and aunties from & kak tiara, abg boy, abg azri & aina. and yes, i'm embarrassed ! but now, i know abg aqil, abg hazmi, hannani, abg hanafi, kak hazirah, abg aizat, asyraf, hamzah, arif too. awesome right ? hahahaha.

omg, this will totally make me more addicted to facebook ! sigh. yeah, kak yani and i agreed that the reason we're addicted to facebook is our family !

what i hope right now is that we all will stay close ! (:
and also that i can still remember you guys cause i have to admit, i do have a short memory xD sorry.
UH UH, i also want to get to know all of the others better because family maasom akidah is awesome ya'll ! =P

seriously :/
Thursday, June 10, 2010 // 4:36 AM

I'm just not feeling well. I have a cold. I'm confused. I'm frustrated. I'm not okay.

There's a million reasons why I'm acting/feeling like this. Everything is not in place, it's just not my week I guess.
kjtrpjgtroepjgtotmtmgwptjhmmgtrtmvp mp gem greg03tv 5k3k0vk506imv5i39bni5viwponqvmpqqnbrtpnytoure96y53mv93pbnqtj tep[w btrew90ut905eut9wut9u5tuge5opntv90u5i 5ui9 05u iojw489 g4hij9 n we9rlkdfj 949tioj9 4ij9gj54j9 gh5j ge59jjekj0uhg5j90 j5ijtrhitrjh 9irt ioegi reyh oyq[re [qoe a[oe -p89qpq89R3 [t P]

sorry about that, I just wanted to release my tension- mianhe.

I don't know what to do now. HELP.

Family =D
Monday, June 7, 2010 // 11:40 PM

*five second dance*

so, here's the thing, I HAD AN AWESOME WEEKEND AT PD ! well, almost, the first day I was still awkward and the only thing I wanted to do was get away from that place.
but it was cool after that ! seriously, I got really close to some cousins/aunts/uncles that I used to not be close to. The games were okay, I wasnt actually looking forward to it, why? because of the beautiful BEACH & SWIMMING POOL ! hahaha.

first day : wasn't so much fun because there was basically nothing much to do. But But, the evening was awesome because we went down to the beach and took awesome photos (:
second day : all the games begin. I entered the cari syiling dalam tepung thingy. FIRST PLACE ! go reds ! Kak Ain got second place, GO REDS ! then kak nurul won the third place. the musical chairs was HILARIOUS ! Abg Azri & Abg Akmal were awesome ! during the night, we had the big performance thingy. it was awesome again ! the theme was head-gear so that explains the stuff on our head. AFTER THAT, we, kak qai, kak yani, kak adah, abg azizi, abg aqil, abg azri, abg hazmi, me and etc went swimming at the swimming pool ! first, we played Killer then volley ball and etc. IT WAS FUN YAWW !

last day : it was a bit tiring since we had to start packing our stuff and to tell you, our room was A MESS ! hahaha. then we took some photos, we hang out with Batrisya at the pool, pack up our bags and went home. Heh. BUT BUT, after went home, well, I didn't, gladly. I went to Ayah Lope's house and that night, we went bowling. It was a mini family day after family day =) we bowl, chat, eat, but most of us were like old people, our bodies were like in a bad condition but we had fun, Yana laughed a lot ! scary.

bad news : I feel like ignoring people from my phone. So, I'm very very sorry, I won't be answering your calls or replying your text messages unless I feel like I want to.

by the way, I'm a RICH half mermaid, half leprechaun (:


I can't go back;
Sunday, May 30, 2010 // 3:42 AM

yes, I can do it, i think-
yes, it's already EXAM WEEK.
Allah, please help me get through it this week.
I told my followers on Twitter that I won't be on for the week.
I don't want to lose followers.
I want to really get good grades in my mid-term exam.
But If I don't,
Please, Please, Please, Please with a cherry on top,
don't be mad at me.
I worked hard, I've never worked harder than this my whole life.
I feel good and I hope you guys do,
no matter what crap the results are.
For your information,
this exam is the first time I'll be seeing the actual papers for Secondary School's Exam,
so I don't freaking know how the paper is,
so don't blame me if the I get low marks on subjects,
and again I worked hard and I will continue working hard.
Please, no nagging, just tell me to work harder,
no praising, no telling me I did great if I don't,
just tell me to work harder, and again, just tell me to work harder.
Don't remind me to study, just tell me to work harder,
the only word I want to hear you guys say is work harder.
I don't want to hear you guys say, 'I want you to get straight As,
I want you to be first in class,' I can tell myself that, seriously.
Just tell me to work hard.
I don't want to be forced, I just want to be told to
Let me do what I want because I'll try really hard on the things I really want.
One of the thing I want to gain is good grades too and I don't want you,
to tell me you want me to get them.
A little encouragement is good but too much can cause pain,
to me and to you guys.
Stop saying I can do everything because I know myself far more than you do,
I'm not perfect and I have feelings too,
I will do what I want
I can do what I can
I know my limits, it's such a lost if you don't know mine.

there's this one girl who seem to have a lot of love around her,
but she actually feels none.

So that's the end of the road, we're not going anywhere further;
Thursday, May 27, 2010 // 7:13 AM

I'm leaving you, not sure if that's what I should do.

Alright, I'm done. Should I change my number again? Urgh, I seriously don't feel like losing any contact but you're making it hard to just even own a phone, Mister.
If only there was a 'block/spam/report' button for phones, I'd love to block/spam/report your number to whoever it should be receiving. You're ruining, messing with my life, LITERALLY. I feel liks throwing the phone when you people send a text like, 'boleh berkenalan?' what century do you live in?
I hate people who use rempitz words, seriously. what the crap is sanad? and you're so not cool if you use those, seriously. unfortunately, you're already UNCOOL.
I also hate people who ask seriously unacceptable stupid questions, 'dah makan ke? makan apa? sedap? kenapa tak tidur lagi? tak mengantok ke?'
URGH. yes, i've ate, why do you care what I eat? It's not as if you can taste it or whatsoever.
Yes, i'm not asleep, I won't be online if I was asleep right? STUPID. Obviously I'm not sleepy, that's why I'm still online. Could the questions get any more stupid? Unfortunately, yes but that literally sucks.
oh, this world is cruel. SO cruel. I'm tellling you ! =.='

oh by the way, is this plobnrg or not ? HAH.
I'm a three year old and thirty year old who's stuck in a crazy funky thirteen years old body who apparently loves sitting in her room in front of her laptop that was named Kie. My role model is Selena Marie Gomez, I'd love to find a cure for Nicholas Jerry Jonas's Diabetes, I'd love compose a song with Dimitria Devonne Lovato, I'd love to fight dragons with Joseph Adam Jonas, I'd love to be Kevin Jonas's younger sister, I'd love to sing with Taylor Alison Swift with our guitars together, I'd love to marry Taylor Daniel Lautner, I'd love to be Logan Wade Lerman's Co-star in a movie, I'd love to pull a prank on Sterling A Knight, I'd love to have a day with David James Archuleta, I'd love if Michael Buble wrote a song for me, I'd love to hang out the whole day with Justin Drew Bieber, I'd love to hang out with Miley Ray Cyrus. I'd love to meet them all someday ♥

Just Tell Me That You'll Stay.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 // 1:56 AM

I owe you people big big big explanation.
Maaf. Sorry. Gomenasai. Mianhe.
I was lazy.
I know. it's a very stupid unacceptable reason but when it comes to me,
it HAS to be acceptable.
I am a lazy-ass. woops. I'm so not.
I was busy actually. I have my mid-term exam coming next week.
I was busy dating with Sony Vegas every single day,
not to mention secretly having an affair with Twitter.
He(twitter) is just too addict-able to resist.

here's some update :
  • Jemi broke up.
  • Nelena may be on back.
  • Jonas Brothers & Camp Rock casts are having a tour and I'm not going.
  • I have tons and tons of series coming up to be put on youtube and I can't wait until exam's over.
  • I can't wait for my two weeks holiday.
  • I might be getting my guitar this weekend.
  • I love love love John Mayer's songs.
  • I'm down with a serious Hollywood fever. I don't know why.
  • I drool everytime I see Taecyeon on Cinderella's Stepsister.
  • I think Bustin Jieber's new deep voice is cool and better than his girly voice.
  • I'm a fan of Michael Greyson.
  • I don't believe Joe Jonas is the bad guy in the Jemi Broken Up situation.
  • I think Nick Jonas is attractive but Taylor Lautner is and always will be the best.
  • I'm addicted to Sony Vegas, Twitter, Youtube and NOT facebook, myspace, friendster.
  • I hate muslim guys who wear necklace.
  • I have a bowling tournament with my family this Friday and picnic on Saturday.
  • I love love love my twitterBFFs.
  • I have a Family Day at Port Dickson on next Friday.
  • I have my mid-term exam next week.
  • I'm not in a stable condition emotion-ly. Don't come and piss me off.
  • I want to be invisible, literally. Give someone else a chance. Let them shine. I'm doing shining.
  • I want to be one of the audience and not the performer for once.
  • I don't want to always be the spotlight.
  • I miss Selena Gomez's tweets.
  • I want to not be in the spotlight but not to be ignored, its not that hard for you to help me.
  • I'm starting to love writing again. Let's hope the hobby doesn't die due to the existence of my guitar =D
that's all I think. I don't want to see anyone at the moment.
reminder for the week : if you see me smiling, it's probably a fake one. If you succeed making me laugh until I clap my hands, You're an amazing person.

Take Note. Study Smart. Eat Your Veggies. Smile Even When You Don't Mean It. Listen To Awesome Music. Get Inspired by Songs. Write Heartbroken Songs. Sleep Late. Fight With A Pickle. Open A Fridge and Eat A Chicken. You're life will be complete.
Good Night, Everybody! *hannah montana's style*
- - - - -
song : I Don't Miss You At All by Selena Gomez;

Friday, May 14, 2010 // 6:33 AM

When I hear this song, it totally remind me of Nicholas Jerry Jonas ! he sings to this song while driving ! CUTE ! (:

hahahaa. gotong royong tomorrow ! *weird*

goodnite ! ;P

psst : i've stopped loving you because you don't even seem like you even love me.

see, i'm boring.
Saturday, May 8, 2010 // 7:15 AM

i just realized i still have Plobnrg on my hand. i'm wasting my time texting and sitting on bed today. which is very cool and satisfying (:

far away
Friday, April 30, 2010 // 1:33 AM

i haven't updated in ages people ! hah. i know. i was being a lazy ass =.=
but that doesn't matter, i wont have any stories to tell even if I wanted to update. lets just jump to a conclusion that i'm LIFELESS.

thank you for reading.

psst ! i'm addicted to youtube and twitter xD

decisions we have made
Sunday, April 4, 2010 // 5:08 AM

people told me that if I want a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.
so, I'm going to stick to it. goodbye.

you told me happiness is a journey, not a destination and I still believe in it.
I'm just waiting for it to happen (:

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 // 4:25 AM

life is never simple, never easy,
life is too sweet to be hated,
but life is too complicated to be embrace.

at times, we'd be hating our life but at the end of the day, you'll find that no matter how horrible your life is,

if your trying to break my heart, its working
Tuesday, March 30, 2010 // 3:34 AM

Justin Bieber - That Should Be Me

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me, Oh things are gonna happen naturally. Oh taking your advice, I'm looking on the bright side and balancing the whole thing. But often times those words get tangled up in lines and the bright lights turn to night. Until the dawn it brings, another day to sing about the magic that was you and me. Cause you and I both loved, what you and I spoke of, and others just read of, others only read of the love, the love that I love. See, I'm all about them words, over numbers, unencumbered, numbered words, Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards, more words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive.
And it's okay if you have go away, Oh just remember the telephone works both ways, and if I never ever hear them ring. If nothing else I'll think the bells inside have finally found you someone else and that's okay, cause I'll remember everything you sang.
well I'm finally out of words.

- - - - -
it's a sad thing when someone you know becomes someone you knew.

Monday, March 29, 2010 // 5:34 AM

I've been trying to get to you but i couldn't, you wouldn't let me.
when i finally got you, and i decided to let you go, you wouldn't let me.
then i decided to stay, you wouldn't let me.
it's complicated. not everyone understands it, its just our little inside joke, L.

life is like a drama starring ourselves, it's just, there is no script and we can't say cut but we can still control it because we're also the director. look at the stars and you'll realize that your life is not bad, because you're still alive living it. right?
cause everything is never as it seems,

- - - - -
I wish I had a parachute, because I'm falling fast for you.

you're running through my mind
Sunday, March 28, 2010 // 4:31 AM

I like it better the other way, don't you think so.
I wished it would be better if we think the same way.
I imagined things would be better, you know. at least a lot better than now.
But that's all a shame because it was all white lies.
I didn't care at first, but things were tough not long after that.
I decided to let you go because it seems like you weren't even trying to save it, save me.

- - - - -

p/s: I like you very very much, L <3

new feeling
Saturday, March 27, 2010 // 7:40 AM

I'm lucky. NOT.

I want my knight to come running to me, protect me. L! yes, you.
- - - - -
So basically, we didn't bought anything I planned except story books. I bought a book about best friends and the other one, a diary of a wimpy girl, for girls.

- - - - -
I heart L. Fullstop ;)

have we know that we can change
Friday, March 26, 2010 // 6:22 AM

I'd like to run and hide away from everyone. big lies. i'm far far from any sorts of ideas i usually have at night to do. Which reminds me, i better go edit some photos i took earlier.

i'm going out tomorrow to go buy a pendrive, a book probably a self-improvement book. also, maybe guitar !


- - - - - -
it's never the same when you're gone,
does that ring a bell? ...
i guess not,

Tuesday, March 23, 2010 // 6:56 AM

you've read it, end of story.

don't try,
Monday, March 22, 2010 // 4:48 AM

Just look at me in the eyes and tell me, do you see her in me? Is that the reason you said you loved me?
If you do, don't waste your time on me because you haven't seen the real me.

i hope you might
Monday, March 15, 2010 // 7:22 AM

One single smile, a helping hand, it's not that hard to be a friend,
So dont give up, stand until the end, cause there's more to life than just to live.
Cause an empty room can be so loud there's too many tears to drown them out
so hold on, hold on
When you love someone and they break your heart, don't give up on love, have faith, restart
Just hold on, hold on
When it falls apart and you're feeling lost, all your hope is gone, don't forget to hold on
Hold on!

(jonas brothers - Hold On)
- - - - -

yes. that's what I learn. hah, laugh all you want. Jonas's songs are great. They are not gay, accept it. Kevin is already married to Danielle, Joe is dating Demi and I bet Nick is dating Selena, again.
so guys, they are all taken by the sweetest girls, I hope.

- - - - -

i speak only the truth so hear this out, I'll pretend that I have no such feelings for you now but you should know the person that can make me fall in love is you.

just so you know;
Sunday, March 14, 2010 // 5:56 AM

Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you, What I feel about you. I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have and cannon ball into the water, For you I will...
Forgive me if I st-stutter, From all of the clutter in my head Cause I could fall asleep in those eyes Like a water bed. Do I seem familiar, I've crossed you in hallways a thousand times, no more camouflage. I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall...
If I could dim the lights in the mall And create a mood I would Shout out your name so it echoes in every room, yeah.That's what I'd do, That's what I'd do, That's what I'd do, To get through to you...

For you I will
- - - - -

i don't want to say much, but i love you.

Saturday, March 13, 2010 // 6:48 PM


Demi Lovato, star of Sonny With A Chance confirmed her relationship with Joe Jonas !

omg omg omg omg omg ! yay ! NOW, we're just gonna have to wait for an EPIC NELENA NEWS <3>

Demi confirmed in on an interview and she also mentioned about Selena Gomez. She said they were still in a good relationship but don't spend much time together.

yay ! I hope Delena gets back into track ! can't wait ! Demi is awesome and I hope everything goes well !



Wednesday, March 10, 2010 // 6:14 AM

cuteness alert <3
muhammad illyas and my dearest aidid kamil ;)
i found this picture while just wasting mine and opah's time seeing through the photos.
i miss my family, a lot.
i love you guys, lots :)

toodles (;

i can't wait;
// 3:38 AM

6 down, 3 more to go. yay ! then it is holiday to miss awesome :) wait, i still have homeworks, but whatever. I have Science, Geography and Arts tomorrow and the day after. Gosh, i dont even want to think about it ;)

aini, amirah and me sang 'Oh' rock version and it was hella cool ! we are truly the awesomest dorks you'll ever know. they laughed while i was doing a sketch using my pencils, pens, eraser and ruler the whole time and just so you know, it was during Kemahiran Hidup's test. it was so boring that i decided to play like a kid. omo, i missed being a kid, well, younger than i am now, i wished the only problem i'm having is counting how many crayons i have in my hands ;P
i just made a new story and i posted the intro on youtube. yay!
it's about Demi & Selena's friendship and probably a their couples.
i haven't made up my mind yet.
i might as well go study now, or just continue read Nelena one-shots on youtube :)

- - - - -
p/s - they think I'm cute ;P

Tuesday, March 9, 2010 // 4:57 AM

Dont Wanna Be Torn - Miley Ray Cyrus

Miley; I don't really like her but most of her songs feels like connected to my life.

- - - - -
I posted at facebook; Today is Officially the Emo Day !
fights, tears, everything, today.
Shouting, Yelling, Crying, Having Difficulty To Breathe, Walking Away...
I'm tired of it, sorry I let everything out today.
I'm not saying I'm sorry about what happened but I'm just sorry I trusted you.

all these time;
Monday, March 8, 2010 // 4:30 AM

some part of me felt like everything was falling apart. lets forget the past and move on, oh how i wish i could do that.

now's the new beginning;
Sunday, March 7, 2010 // 2:41 AM

So today, I challenged myself.

From now onwards, I am going to be more focused in life and all that sort of things.
I need a bright future,
I need to have the best life I could ever have,
I need to be positive,
I need to be full of spirit,
I need to be confident,
I need to get my butt away from Kie sometime,
I need to study,
I need to concentrate in studies,
I need to have good relationship with everyone,
I need to stick to my motto, oh wait, i dont have a motto "yet",
I need to balance my life,
I need to be happy and wonderful,
I need to keep the moody mood away,
I need to have faith in life & Allah swt,
I need to start loving my friends,
I need to have fun with my family,
I need to forget about my useless problems,
I need to get crazy & funky,
I need to NOT run away from my problems anymore,
I need to be strong and have my own priority,
I need to be like Sophia Bush ;)
I need to be like my idol, Selena Marie Gomez <3
I need to be up-to-date about most of the things i love about,
I need to keep the phone & Kie & TV away from me when I need them away,
I need to watch the Tv programs when i want to,
I need to know about NELENA when there's news,
I need to keep clean,
I need to act like a 13 years old,
I need to mix up with people,
I need to keep myself away from the negative stuff,
I need to love myself <3

I'll add more soon when I come up with more,
Hwaiting !~

it's incredible;
Saturday, March 6, 2010 // 7:32 AM

There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.
- Lucas Scott.

How many moments in life could you look back to and think "That's when it all changed..
- Brooke Davis

Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds. When life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same.
- Brooke Davis

At the end of the day, you are who you are, and it's probably who you've always been
- Brooke Davis

Don't cry for a guy, let a guy cry for you. Cause girls give and forgive, but guys get and forget.
- Brooke Davis

When you turn out the lights it's all the same darkness.
- Nathan Scott

Every song ends but is that any reason not to enjoy the music?
- Peyton Sawyer

we dont choose who we love... it just happens
- Haley James

i had an awesome girl night <3
manicures, facial masks, songs, singing, onlining ^^


Wednesday, March 3, 2010 // 6:20 AM

Tsuyoku mae he susume.....

- K

I want to wish,
// 4:06 AM


May all your wishes come true and have great adventure in life. dont forget me okay ! ;) sayang fatin !~

short. yet meaningful? well, i hope so. muahahhaha.

okay, off to study ;)

it is done;
Monday, March 1, 2010 // 5:33 AM

Nur Fatin Izzati ! Sayang anda sangat sangat ! thanks for "stalking" my blog. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

- - - - - - - -

so basically, i changed the layouts. yeap ! finally. i couldnt find any interesting skins and that sucks like bees without honeys. gosh. well, i uploaded a video on youtube, my one-shot nelena titled, happiness. miley is the good girl in here, lol, just feel like making her good for a second. omg, i love sony vegas ! i can make all kinds of videos through there ! omg omg omg ! addicted to sony vegas ! i love you so much sony vegas !

also, here's the link for my first episode of My Hero which is also a NELENA story
-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deFh3kzA0aU (the intro and storyline/plot)

i have NO idea why i'm posting the url here. just if you feel like subscribing and commenting and making me loving me you more, why dont you stop by (:

kak yani said she LOVED my one-shot. she even commented. oh, i love her <3
addicted to twitter >.<

ouch, my neck hurts. i'm off -.-

toodles ;)

time to rest, kie <3

Aim for the Stars;
Sunday, February 28, 2010 // 6:36 AM

so finally i finished making my one-shot of nelena which i still am clueless about the title. sheesh. but no worries, i have a long day to think about that tomorrow. so today Joe tweeted he cried because he loved Justin Bieber and Kak Yani thinks he was just being dared or something. my other friend from twitter said, he now is confessing many weird stuff. just like HIM. omg.
i need to sleep. i have school tomorrow !

my body hurts because i've been in front of this laptop since like this morning. omg.

did i tell you twitter is addictive ? well, it is ! just like sony vegas. && youtube.

well, i guess, i'll say toodles now.

wish me luck on school tomorrow.
love yah (:

WE; is not real,
Saturday, February 27, 2010 // 5:54 AM

today was great. i guess. everything was normal. or as what i like to say it, 'normalisasi'. i finally uploaded the first episode of My Hero on youtube. yes, finally !
happy addicted to quotes. omg.

i questioned my friends at myspace through my status :

gosh, no need to be speechless. i just randomly found a quote saying ILY means i'm leaving you. that's why i asked. plus, i was just saying it like that to make people believe it more. i was just being such a drama queen.
or wasnt i ? *keningkening*

i've been ignored in sbox. i am sad. sigh.

omg. i'm sleepy. it's just 11. should i go to sleep ?
i guess so.

toodles ;)

-everything you imagine is real.

wan wan wan wan wan (:
Friday, February 26, 2010 // 8:03 AM

why is safiyyah posting another post ?

the only reason is MUHAMMAD SYAZWAN FAHMI BIN MUHAMMAD HELMI contacted me. he called me from his asrama. we had a long talk. we talked about so many things which i dont plan to tell you people. i told most of the things that happened here and he told me about his new school and some other things. dang, i miss him a lot ! hahahahahahahahhahahahaa. i laughed a lot, he did too. also, i felt a bit sad, he told me he did too. who wouldnt right? we're best friends, wait, more like siblings, of course we missed each other a lot ! we share almost everything together. i hope we can meet again during the school break on march if im in kuala kangsar, tau !
TERHARU gila when wan called me. he remembered my number. he didnt remember hafiz's, azim's, nabeehan's numbers pon. if we get to meet, i'll tell you everything from A-Z. i'm just so glad that i have a friend like you !

you are the best, awesomest, coolest guyfriend ever ! bestest among the best !

sayang anda !

ini post is especially for wan ! hahahahahahahahahaaaa. im glad our friendship is still standing strong though we're far away.
you're the best, sebab ada yang baru je kelas lain(sekolah sama) pon dah tak rapat dah.
anda hebat ! saya hebat ! kita hebat !

toodles (:

p/s : im so going to webcam this awesome news tomorrow ! ^^

and again, sayang anda !
but dont get me wrong peeps, he's more like a brother ;)

not cheap;
// 5:44 AM

omg. i just found the theme song for my life.
I Do Not Hook Up - Kelly Clarkson.

i adore her a lot. she's a great singer and she's pretty. and the song, gosh, so me !

the lyrics are perfect.

today was, i dont know how to explain. oh yeah, jay quit 2pm. sad :(

this is not good. i thought 2010 is a year of no fear.

lets hope that the jay news is false or the last bad news in 2o1o.


psst, i just realize that it was all a lie, you were the liar; you should stop pretending to care. i hate you.

out of your league ?
Monday, February 22, 2010 // 6:32 AM

today = school. tons and tons of homework.

nothing much to say, just.

loving next to you lots (:

see yah !

Friday, February 19, 2010 // 7:57 AM

TWITTER is equal to awesomeness ! woots !~
i posted on facebook and myspace that i'd be watching justin bieber's newest music video, BABY. i've watched the behind the scenes and it was dang awesome ! lol. so now im just waiting for it to load and wait for the answer from kak wai, who's the spy for third-i . dang it, i really wanna know abut she kept asking whether i was sure i wanna know or not. sigh.

oh btw, im at wanchor's now. im in the room. all by myself ! woots ! hearts here and hearts there !~ i got some homeworks to do but nahhh. im gonna do it some other day. laugh all you want.

brb. watching the justin bieber thingy.

Ah-May-Zingg ! the music video, i meant. wanna see ? sure.

amazingly awesome. i love all his music videos. i love his voice. im not THAT attractive to his face though. sorry. LAUTNER IS BETTER ! hearts everywhere !

gnitez (:

Thursday, February 18, 2010 // 5:58 AM

today was ka-bush ! i was dang tired. my stomach was singing the whole day. we're planning to have a farewell party (+ bday party) for ain tomorrow because she's moving to SERATAS. sigh.

so i wasted my time today editing some photos. i've put them on facebook & myspace. not friendster of course. reason ? because i DONT trust my FRIENDS or SOCALLEDFRIENDS there. sorry :/

finally (:
Wednesday, February 17, 2010 // 5:29 AM

so i have school tomorrow. yay ? probably.
basically, i am addicted to Starstruck's soundstracks What you mean to me and Hero.
the lyrics are so great, i meant Hero.

i've finished making an intro for my new NELENA story.

its just a normal kinda of story. selena who has the attitude like herself in Wizard of waverly place. nick, the serious type, like himself in JONAS. joe as selena's older brother and buds with nick. joe's a wizard too. demi is nick's younger sister. the bosy, annoying kinda sister. gah, i'm so lazy to write about it. you'll just read the description on the youtube page itself. lol. if you guys got a youtube account, please rate and comment (: cause it means a lot ! hehehe. if you're really really nice, it would be better if u promote the story (:

here's something funny yet touching. NICK JONAS !

we, nelena fans believed that this song is based on NELENA. cause selena cried when nick sang this song. nick also looked very emotional during this performance ! great right ? lol. hahaha

also, i got so many nelena news ! loving NELENA and addicted to TWITTER ! gosh >.<

gnite (:

what you mean to me//
Friday, February 12, 2010 // 4:37 AM

i'll be holidaying until wednesday which is great right ? woohoo. but i dont know why i feel so down tonight. maybe because i come to realize that i missed my friends a lot. i dont know why but i seriously cant even put a fake smile on my face. this is horrible. plus, i dont have much to do just yet and i dont know what i should do to kill my time. i dont plan to sit in front of this freaking laptop until i have something to do. thats for sure. texting is just isnt my thing anymore. i got no one to text now ): which sucks, yeah ! it finally azan-ed here so i think i am going to get my butt away from this laptop and solat then get back to this thingy because i have nothing else to do. i have issues now, i am sorry. today, i think i fought with puteri farihah, yeap my junior. well, its not my fault that i didnt have the mood to talk to her today right ? plus, i'm having a massive headache. if you're mad cause i didnt reply on your IM yesterday than i am dang sorry because i didnt realize that you were even on. i was busy doing my homework and being sick. yeah, i was sick yesterday. Happy ?! urgh. sorry, my anger is ganging up, dang it ! >_<'
i feel like killing myself without a reason. seriously.

its not me who's picking the fights with you guys, i am sorry but its just... this week, and what happened...gah, everything is just messed up. i am sorry. really really really sorry.
i am sorry if i got mad at any of you, if i pissed you guys off, if i turned you guys down, if i did something wrong but i was just not me this week. sorry again.

- - - - -
Cant blame you for thinking
That you really never knew me at all
I try to deny you
But nothing ever made me feel so wrong

I thought I was protecting you
From everything that I go through
But I know that we got lost along the way

Here I am with all my heart
I hope you understand
I know I let you down
But Im never gonna make that mistake again
You brought me closer
To who I really am
Come take my hand
I want the world to see
What you mean to me

Just know that Im sorry
I never wanted to make you feel so small
A story is just beginning
Well, let the truth break down these walls

And every time I think of you
I think of how you pushed me through
And show me how much better I could be...

You make me feel like Im myself
Instead of being someone else
I wanna live that everyday
You say what no one else was saying
You know exactly how to get to me
You know its what I need
Its what I need, yeah

(what you mean to me - sterling knight)

definitely positively//
Thursday, February 11, 2010 // 5:06 AM

i dont have much stuff to talk about now.
i've wasted my time today watching iCarly, Gokusen the Movie and Kyle XY.
i still havent finish watching all the iCarly's episodes but i guess i still can try. i have a few more episodes and i'm done.
i've skipped a few episodes on Kyle XY. i jumped to watch the first episode of season 3. i havent watched it on tv before. i'm up to episode 3 if i am not mistaken. Kyle rules ! i so wish that jessi would be gone because seriously, she's ruining the mood. i like amanda and kyle to be together than jessi and him because she's just annoying. LOL.

tomorrow's school ! omg omg omg ! malas (:

- - - - -
call me crazy, i do not care about your opinion. you think you have ruined my day but you still haven't because guess what, you actually just planned to ruin your own. i can tell because i would not let you laugh even just for a second today. you asked for it, jerk!

great shape//
Tuesday, February 9, 2010 // 3:41 AM

being the usually me today so i'm gonna share you two funny signs i found at photobucket.

i showed opah the second one and she laughed too. wanchik's back home now and its time for me to 'mengadu' about what Kuning(my cat) did while she was gone. that horrible cat ate something and left only blood stained on the floor and opah had to mop it away. then while opah and i were eating she brought back something in her mouth, i dont know what the heck it is, neither does opah but both of us lost our appetite after seeing that thingy.

tomorrow, i am going to SKSI to just hang out with Amira and Faqihah. i am still not sure how i am going to get there but i am sure i am going to. i just need to hang my KRS uniform and set up the rest of my stuff and i am done with everything. remind me to charge my phone too. i seriously need to recharge it for tomorrow cause its going to be a big day. SPORTS DAY ! pfft, i'm talking as if i'm going to participate in something big. NAHH. sports make me go 'puff' and 'hmph'. i'm just participating in Kawad for KRS. which is dang heck tiring. gelap is the right word for me now. *laughing out loud*

i hope tomorrow is going to be a bright day like every other day though not so bright on the sound because i'm tired of being grilled. yeah, i've been grilled by the sun ever since i entered Kawad. sigh.

- - - - -
you're not the same anymore. i guess i dont know you. even if you decided to say hello to me, all you're going to receive from me is goodbye, hypocrite.
and also, thanks for acting like you care about me.
note to yourself, i'm happy living without you (:

dang it//
Monday, February 8, 2010 // 3:45 AM

jus thought about the past and i realized that i was crying, not a lot though. a few days ago, i heard wan's voice. not for long though, it wasnt even 5 minutes. gah. lets not talk about this anymore. dont let my eyes teary anymore.

i'm listening to Pergi by Aizat. sheesh, i dont know i'm listening to sad songs currently. well, that suits my life right now, right ? yay ! i'm glad the next song is Live Like We're Dying by Kris Allen ! today was freaking HOT ! yeah ! it was like the worst latihan kawad ever ! it was like so hot that i felt like fainting. seriously ! and like, my brain was expanding and contracting, i know we cant use those for brains but i am just telling (:
nothing more to say i guess, oh yeah... maybe just maybe i'm going to SKSI this wednesday with AMIRA <3

and you !~ stop stealing what i have and pretending to be me and know me. i've never thought you'd act like this but since you've gone out of the limit, i seriously need to tell you this ! i dont like what you're doing with my stuffs and pretending to be me in the net. i dont like to fuse and stuff but you really made me mad and despise you. stop it ! just stop it ! urgh !
note to you from me - Unless you've lived my life, Don't judge me because you don't know, never have and never will know every little thing & detail about me !

- - - - -
even though i wish that you would come back, i know you would not. i do not want to loose faith in you because i trust you. that is why i never stopped praying and wishing. i wish you all the best in everything you do and remember, i will always be on your side.
forever & always

keep pretending, i dont care;
Sunday, February 7, 2010 // 5:10 AM

what can i say ? its life right. you have your ups and downs.
tomorrow is school and i am not sure what i am feeling. content i guess. I'm freaking tired because I'm making a nelena story, I'm not sure its going to be a one-shot or an ongoing but i haven't even started much. well, they've met and stuffs but they haven't confessed just yet.

you're such a hypocrite that i feel like hating you to death. seriously. and thanks, for acting like you care and stuff but don't keep bluffing because it disgust me more than ever. you don't admit it but i know you, you don't need to keep pretending anymore. you make me sick. people say words are like bullets and i want to make sure that my words kill you, but don't worry, your words wont kill. just so you know, I'm tried of those lies you've said and made. you disgusted me like crazy more than anything in this whole wide world. FULLSTOP.

good nite (:

- - - - -
i am scared of the truth and tired of the lies.
thanks, thanks for walking out of my life when i needed you the most. i do not need you to tell me that you care anymore. just get away from me because i am tired of being the last thing on your mind, please.

Friday, February 5, 2010 // 3:57 AM

With every step you climb another mountain. Every breath it's harder to believe. You make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes. To get to that one thing. Just when you think the road is going nowhere. Just when you almost gave up on your dreams. They take you by the hand and show you that you can. There are no boundaries!~
-Kris Allen

- - -

Is there someone you wanna date?
taylor lautner or sterling knight (;

What are you listening to?
no boundaries by kris allen~

What does your last text say? From who?
haha yeah. tp maksu sgj je waktu tu. she isnt going. i am going.
from kak qai (:

Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
depends actually/

Last missed call?

Last person you talked on the phone with?
faqihah (:

What was the first thing you did when you woke up today?
turned off my phone alarm,

Do you have a best friend?

Do you like vitamin water?

Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?

Do you believe that what comes around goes around?

What is your favorite fruit?
not quite sure ! :P

Who was the last person you were mad at?
that person, i'd rather not say her name,

Who was the last perso​n you talke​d to last night​ befor​e bed?
opah i guess :S

Do you have any saved​ texts​?​

What are you plann​ing on doing​ after​ filli​ng this out?
do some stuffs and doze off to bed (;

Have you ever kisse​d anyon​e whose​ name begin​s with B or T?

How about​ A?

How is the weath​er right​ now?
dang cold >.<'

What are you weari​ng right​ now?
skirt, long blouse with short sleeves. why, does it shock you ? :O

Who was the last perso​n you cried​ in front​ of?
cant recall. myself i guess :/

Have you ever slept​ in a bed with the oppos​ite sex?
back then, when i was a kid

What is some t​hing you reall​y want right​ now?
my old friends, my family and lots of stuffs. oh. the list are endless. yes, i want them all right now :S

How many pierc​ings do you have?​

Would you rather have long or short​ hair?​
depends on the weather, HAHAHAHA (;

What is the longe​st you have ever talke​d on the phone​? When?​
dont know.

Do you have a frien​d you can tell stuff​ to and you'​re sure they won'​t tell?​
say hi to Ain Zahirah Fairuz <3

What'​s on your mind most today​?​
a lot of things to be detailed, malas >.<'

Whose​ birth​day is comin​g up?
izzah's & aidil's and lots more.

Are you going​ anywh​ere for the next summe​r?
summer ? HAHAHAHAAA xD

Do you trust​ ALL your frien​ds?​

nelena proofs ! :D
Thursday, February 4, 2010 // 4:10 AM

i had just finished watching a couple of NELENA's newest update. they are definitely positively obviously 100% finally together ! yay ! well, neither of them had confirmed it nor deny it but they've been giving a lot of hints and they are not afraid of showing themselves in public together another. they've spent a lot of time together. examples ? proofs? pfft ! i got plenty of them. its all over the internet especially youtube. the fans saw nelena on a date together at a restaurant and they were holding hands for a while, also, one of the people there said something about them being a cute couple and nick himself replied, "thank you," aww. isnt that just cute ^^ as a lot of you people know, selena has been following nick touring so like isnt it obvious ? woot ! and currently Ellen asked nick about nelena but nick changed the subject. also, there was a fan who also asked about him and selena and he said, he would rather keep it to himself, no matter what their relationship is. pfft ! isnt it already obvious ? (; nick & selena also have been twitting and we, the fans can see that both of them sound very happy. we're very happy for them. hmm, need more proof ? well, nick was asked who inspired him to wrote the song 'Vesper's Goodbye' and he said, he got inspired while watching James Bond. well, if you can actually detect what he really means was, he was the james bond. still dont get it ? well, remember Jonas Brothers' music video 'burning up' ? nick was sort of like the james bond right ? and who was the james bond's girl ? OMG ! SELENA MARIE GOMEZ ! yes, so if you're clever enough, you'd knew what he was really trying to say. isnt it just great ? he have been writing songs about his dearest SELENA. what ? dont tell me you didnt know ? rose garden. he himself confirmed it himself that it was about Selena, or so something like that. we also think and feel like Last Time Around and Stay were for selena. reason ?

Last Time Around (obvious about SELENA)

Keep on moving like you did last summer,
When the grass was greener and your hair was longer.(selena's hair was longer when she was still dating nick)
If you become familiar with another in town,
Don't forget about the fun that we had
Last time around.

You walk around with a new man new band.(talking about taylor lautner because selena once dated him but not for long)
You think it's over but I'm just getting started.
I try to call but you don't ever answer.
I'd let you go but you're all that I'm after.
Can't you remember?


Rose Garden (positively about SELENA)

She was brought into this world
Out of a beautiful mistake
When her mom was just a girl
And her daddy didn't stay. (selena's dad didnt stay with her and her mum)

She was working at age 9
At the flower shop in town. (flower shop = barney)
Working not just to survive,
'Cause life was throwing her around.

In the rose garden, (rose garden = hollywood)
Where the rain is falling.
And the thorns are sharp in
The rose garden
, yeah.(hollywood seems so great on the outside but its hard to survive)
Rose garden.

She was young but not naïve...
Always wise beyond her years,
Hoping that no one would see
Every time she dried her tears.

obvious right ? no more to say. they are definitely back ! well, need more real proof ? go search at youtube ! there's plenty of nelena news there ! woot ! niley fans, shh yourself ! be happy that nick's happy and miley's happy with Liam ! selena is never a slut and you all know that ! practically, you're just really jealous of Selena right ? because she's way better than that Miley Cyrus ! save your opinion to yourself because if you're going to bad talk about Selena, nick is definitely not going to be very happy ! woot ! nelena FTW

i miss you;
Tuesday, February 2, 2010 // 4:09 AM

yes, i do.
a lot of people, to be confirmed.

mama, abah, opah, tok, aunties, uncles, cousins, aina, hanisah, afiqah, wan, nabeehan, hafiz, azim, best girlfriends, best guyfriends, friends, park jaebum, ok taecyeon, jang wooyoung, nickhun, junsu, junho, chansung, kim jaejoong, shim changmin, kim junsu, jung yunho, park yoochun, leeteuk, kim heechul, kim kibum, lee donghae, choi siwon, hangeng, kangin, cho kyuhyun, eunhyuk, ryeowook, sungmin, shindong, yehsung, TOP, taeyang, daesung, seungri, g-dragon and lots more.

i just talked to the soshifians in sbox that i love barney and teletubbies. yes i do. i used to really like watching barney and friends and of course teletubbies. oh i how i miss those days. the days where i can just watch tv all the time and dont care about anything else beside memorizing teletubbies's and barney's songs and their characters which were obviously easy to remember. the days when i dont have to do my homework because i dont have any, i can go out wearing whatever the heck i want to, i can run anywhere i want and do all the stuffs i wanted to do.

i also missed the days where im at school and laughing and talking to my awesome best friends, including ain, aina, faqihah, afiqah, hanisah, wan, nabeehan, ima, uswatul, syafiq, aidil. i miss you guys a lot tau tak ;) not forgetting my loving juniors from SKSI, puteri farihah, syazwani azman, syamimi azman, ikram, aidil aiman, aiman, anis, asyikin and lots more (:

now, ain, ima, farah, myza, ija, amirah, aini, syera, faqihah, anis nadia, syafiqah ruslan, you guys are the best ! (;thanks for being a good friend, correction, a GREAT friend.
thanks for lighting my life, people ! <3
also a million thank you to my boyfriends, Taylor Lautner and Sterling Knight.
not forgetting, Michael Buble, David Archuleta, Kriss Allen, Jesse Mccartney, Justin Bieber, David Cook, Neyo for being great guy singers for the songs that filled the days in my life.

err. did i forgot to mention any names ? :S

- - - - -
say goodbye to all the hurtful memories because i am leaving them all behind while i walk through the shore of the beach. as i watch the beautiful sunset, i told myself that i would never think about you again. there was never a hello for you, there were only goodbye from the start,

just think;
Monday, February 1, 2010 // 5:21 AM

man, those were big ! <--- was my first reaction of the shoes. omg ! <--- was the seniors' reaction. i'm so darn tired. i've been so busy with school and its very tiring but at least i get to spend my time with my girlfriends <3

we danced like crazy at the field. i cant believe it, i danced to those songs. this is weird but i'm loving it ! and you, just stay away from us because if you're really jealous then just suck your thumb and run to your mummy, little girl ! because i dont care ! FULLSTOP.

- - - - -
i cannot believe you are talking about something you do not know but you think you know. i dont know whether you are just playing with me but i do not care about you at any circumstances. please note that because i am not planning on repeating or even talking to you about it again.

thank you,

and then/
Sunday, January 31, 2010 // 4:53 AM

well, i love today, fullstop. i went to Guar and had a lot of fun with them. we mandi sungai and played netball. ayah lope managed to shoot. this is not good for the red team because you know, i'm a red. i logged on at Myspace and found kak qai uploaded a few photos, it wasnt what i wanted to see but still she looked as if she had fun. she should be, i told her so! i am waiting for a video or something from her but i bet she going to say she didnt record any of it, sheesh !

- - - - -
well, you've changed completely and guess what, i do not care ! and you, keep on contacting me and dont ever let me miss you ! and you, keep on lighting my life up ! and you, dont let anyone make you stay away from me ! lastly, you, keep yourself away from me !

yeah you/

another summer day,
Saturday, January 30, 2010 // 8:31 AM

its turning midnight and i cant seem to shut my eyes. noises swayed through my ears. people kept nagging and stuffs. drifting myself to Michael Buble's song, Home which i love so much ;)

all thanks to kak qai who introduced me to this song. i'm waiting until the vid is fully loaded and then i'll doze off. well, its not MY fault that its sangap right !

- - - - - -
dont say a word because i'm not listening, anymore. i could barely even breathe now, so just give me some space for myself.

plus, i think i'm losing you, well, you know what i mean. seems like 2010 isnt a year of no fear for me. huh ? you bet =.=

- - - - - -
i wished i could keep babbling but this time, i'll pass. toodles :D

Sunday, January 24, 2010 // 2:45 AM

i dont know why i am so excited for tomorrow. nothing big is happening i think but i kind of really like school now. yeah, i bet you're shocked but dont worry. me too.


when i think of you i dont feel so alone and i guess that proves it. even when i dont want to think of you, i still will. its disturbing but i cant help it. but gladly, i dont anymore. i'm happy without you by my side.

Saturday, January 23, 2010 // 5:40 AM

i gave a name to my laptop.

Kie <3

// 4:27 AM

Safiyyah <--- is in love with Pepperoni ;)

today was good yet tiring. i went to school for Merentas Desa and it was one heck FUN ! not forgetting tiring. then i went back home alone by BUS for the first time of my life. then Kak Adah came and stayed for awhile. we chatted and stuffs and she went to stay for the night at Mak ji's. something just happened that made me extra happy dappy ^^ i feel like jumping over the roof !~ omo ! i gotta stop and take some deep breathe !

btw, SHINEE's Hello Baby ep 1 was epic ! :D so cute and funny <333333333333333
loving those guys a lot !~


i sunk out the sea, crash my car, got insane but i felt so good, i wanna do it again~

i'll leave you,
Thursday, January 21, 2010 // 4:15 AM


ANY particulor reason your taking this survey?
i'm just bored.

ARE you at school, work, or home?
home ;)

AGE at which you 1st drank alcohol?
never had and never will.


BOUGHT anything from Spencer's?

BRAVEST person you know?
not sure but im sure its not me.

BLONDES or Brunettes?
blondes that have brains ;) lol.


sorry but i think, naked brothers band :S

CAN your dad beat you in a race?
hahaha. i dnt knw but i dnt think so.

COULD you bungee jump?
sure. i'd like something adventurous.


DRAWING or painting?
drawing !~

DOES your bedroom need cleaning?
nopez. its always clean

DO the drapes match the curtains?


EVER swear at your parents?

EARN enough to pay the bills?
nope. ridiculous!

EXORCIST or SAW movies?
saw movies.


FLOWERS or chocolate?

FUNNEL cake or Elephant Ears?
funnel cake ?

FIRED from a job?
never !


GIVING or receiving gifts?
receiving <3

GOING to the movies or a play?
movies :D

GONE to the bathroom this hour?


HAVING or adopting a baby?

HORSES or cows?
horses !~

HEAVY or light-weight drinker?


IS Michael Jackson in heaven?
maybe. not sure.

INSIDE or outside?

INSTANT or regular coffee?
i dnt knw.


JORDAN or Tiger Woods?

JETTA or Saab?
neither. '

JULY 4th or St. Patrick's Day?
neither. hahahaha


KOOL-AID or Crystal Lite?
i dnt knw :S

KANGAROO or Camel?
camel! ~

KETCHUP or mustard?
ketchup :D


LIGHTS on or off during sex?
i dnt do sex ! =.=

LOTTERY scratch offs or Power Ball?

LIQUOR or beer?


MONTH of choice?
january ;)

MEAL you cook best?
not sure. lol.

MISS the most:
friends from primary school <3


NEVER would I:
loose faith in Islam, Allah, Nabi Muhammad SAW, family, beloved close friends <3

NIGHT owl or early bird?
i wanna choose night owl but i have to admit im an early bird too. so, BOTH !

NOTE to self:
never give up, gal ! keep holding on ! ;)


OPEN your own jars?
yeah. of course =,=

OFFER to help old people?

ONLY in America:
no. im not even american.


PERSCRIPTIONS you have now or in the past?
heh ?

PAPER or plastic?

PRETTY Woman or Sixteen Candles?
pretty :D


QDOBA or Chipotle?

QUIT my job for:
i dnt have a job.

QUANTITY or quality?
quality of course !~


ROADTRIP or flying?
flying ! lmao~

RESPONSE to a sneeze?

RIGHT or left handed?


SIT or stand all day?

SMELL you hate?

SUSHI of choice?
i dnt knw.


THANK goodness it's:
still early.

TELL me your middle name?
dont have one. lol

tiring but great fun ^^


UNDER my bed is:

=.= personal much !

whenever im bored ;)


VITAMINS you take?

VERY much like?
2PM !~

VACCINES I've had:



i dnt own any.

WAFFLES or pancakes?
waffles :D


X-RAY you've had?

X-LOVER's Name?
dont have one.

X-TRA toppings of:


YEAR you were born?

YARD sale or goodwill?

YELLOW or green?


ZOO you've been to?

ZACK Morris or Slater?

ZITS are:
horrible but okay.