yes, i cried due to my decision. not that i dont want it, i do want it but i felt sorry for other people.

you know that i've been putting other people's feelings first so this action is quite new to me. yes, weird eh ?

i've decided that if there is a place for me there, i will go. even if its hard for them. 'cause i know its going to be hard for me too but to have the thing that i want, i have to.

its not like i'm giving them up or anything but i'm grabbing another chance and a new experience.

i know they are going to be mad and sad but i want them to understand me. and also, respect my decision.

do i want to leave them ? of course NOT !

but i need this opportunity. i want this opportunity.

the girls questioned why. i answered something simple, "its difficult here. plus, its far," gladly, they understood and never questioned anything anymore besides, "when?" which i wont be able to answer just yet.

but i really hope that you all would respect and appreciate my decision just for once.

i love you all but i need this. i dont know how to explain, well....

i know whenever i start to explain i will start crying and i dont want that so i'd rather keep it to myself to the time being 'cause i dont feel like crying or have and heart-to-heart to talk with anyone.

but if you get the right timing and ask me to open up about the reasons and have a heart-to-heart talk with you, i'll always try my best to explain.

just not now.

its hard for me to say it because i'm not very good with words especially when i'm really in front of you. i'd rather just chat online. i'll always try my best to explain everything through that nicely. thats why i manage to tell Aunty Syahira the other day some of the reasons.

Thanks aunty Syahira ! :) at least, i've told someone.

yes, i cried due to my decision. not that i dont want it, i do want it but i felt sorry for other people.

you know that i've been putting other people's feelings first so this action is quite new to me. yes, weird eh ?

i've decided that if there is a place for me there, i will go. even if its hard for them. 'cause i know its going to be hard for me too but to have the thing that i want, i have to.

its not like i'm giving them up or anything but i'm grabbing another chance and a new experience.

i know they are going to be mad and sad but i want them to understand me. and also, respect my decision.

do i want to leave them ? of course NOT !

but i need this opportunity. i want this opportunity.

the girls questioned why. i answered something simple, "its difficult here. plus, its far," gladly, they understood and never questioned anything anymore besides, "when?" which i wont be able to answer just yet.

but i really hope that you all would respect and appreciate my decision just for once.

i love you all but i need this. i dont know how to explain, well....

i know whenever i start to explain i will start crying and i dont want that so i'd rather keep it to myself to the time being 'cause i dont feel like crying or have and heart-to-heart to talk with anyone.

but if you get the right timing and ask me to open up about the reasons and have a heart-to-heart talk with you, i'll always try my best to explain.

just not now.

its hard for me to say it because i'm not very good with words especially when i'm really in front of you. i'd rather just chat online. i'll always try my best to explain everything through that nicely. thats why i manage to tell Aunty Syahira the other day some of the reasons.

Thanks aunty Syahira ! :) at least, i've told someone.